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Thursday, January 13, 2005
Top 11 Movie Villains (Yarr, There Be Spoilers Ahead!)
Here's my next list, Top 11 Movie Villains. I know many of you will disagree with what I have here, especially since I don't include many villains from older movies (which have just become too dated for my taste), and because you've probably seen different movies than I have. Then again, lists are made to be talked about, so if you disagree, perfect. (However, do NOT complain about the absence of Hannibal Lector. He's gonna be on a different list later.)
Just a word of caution: this list contains villains who aren't revealed until the surprise ending, so if you haven't seen The Usual Suspects or Se7en and are still interested in doing so, don't read this list.
Here we go...
11: Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) - Speed 
Payne may have been one step ahead of the game the whole way, but it's Hopper's charismatic portrayal of this creep that puts the Speed villain on this list. "I'm not crazy. Poor people are crazy. I'm ecCENtric!" (Yes, I know that's just a photo of Dennis Hopper, but I couldn't find any good pics of Payne.)
 10: Scar (Jeremy Irons) - The Lion King
Probably the best animated villain in the past couple decades, Scar is the Disney villain for those too young to remember The Queen from Snow White or Malifecent from Sleeping Beauty. And with his deception, heartlessness, and a wonderful voice provided by Jeremy Irons, Scar does indeed hold his own.
9: John Doe (Kevin Spacey) - Se7en 
Calm, collected, intelligent, deranged. Such words can be used to describe John Doe, from Se7en, who is responsible for some of the most grizzly, sadistic murders in cinema history (in accordance with the seven deadly sins, of course), and also one of the few villains who wins in the end. He's not much for intimidation, though. That is, until he has your wife's head in a box.
 8: The Joker (Jack Nicholson) - Batman
The Joker was the first Batman villain, from back when the Batman series relied on gothic aestheticism and good acting instead of special effects and crap. With attributes such as charismatic ruthlessness, that creepy-ass smile, and of course Jack Nicholson's acting, this guy remains a classic movie villain.
7: SID 6.7 (Russell Crowe) - Virtuosity 
Sadistic. Intelligent. Dangerous. SID 6.7. Russell Crowe isn't known for playing villains, but one of his best performances to date is that of the second-most-badass computer program ever. Armed to the digital teeth with the psyches of thousands of serial killers, regeneration capabilities, and more slick one-liners than James Bond, SID 6.7 is just fun to watch, even if he is killing innocent people.
 6: Bullseye (Collin Farrell) - Daredevil
Kingpin may have been the, well, kingpin of Daredevil's nemeses, but when it comes to sheer coolness (and being a creep), no other comic book villain holds a candle to Bullseye. He can kill you with shuriken, paper clips, a peanut, anything, and if he doesn't like you, it doesn't matter if you're an important senator or an old lady, he WILL kill you.
5: Keyser Soze/Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey) - The Usual Suspects 
Well, if you haven't seen The Usual Suspects and you're reading this, you've ruined it for yourself. In a suprise-twist-"holy shit!" ending that easily rivals that of Psycho, it is revealed that mass-murdering mastermind Keyser Soze is the man that the police had been questioning just moments before: the seemingly crippled Verbal Kint. Another villain who wins in the end. "...and just like that.... he's gone."
 4: Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto (Ian McKellen) - X-Men
He may be an old man, but he's still taken on an entire police single-handedly, not to mention managed to be quite a match for the esteemed X-Men. A true genius who must have an incredible sense of focus, he remains sharp and sophisticated, but still proves he can be a creep with some really brutal one-liners.
3: Tetsuo Shima (Nozomu Sasaki/Joshua Seth) - Akira 
Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Thus is the premise behind the villain from Akira, which features some of the most beautiful animation ever. Tetsuo was a normal boy, and though he was in a biker gang, he was a nice kid. One day, supernatural powers are awakened within him, and they turn him into a fiend. After going on a rampage throughout Tokyo, he is overpowered by a "gifts" and his body is turned into an all-consuming force, which eventually destroys his girlfriend, the entire city, and ultimately, him.
 2: Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) - The Matrix Trilogy
Arguably one of the most physically strong villains ever (at least in the matrix), as well as one of the more intelligent. His ultimate coolness as well as the amazing and unique acting provided by Hugo Weaving also make Agent Smith one of the most memorable villains. After what is possibly the best martial arts scene ever in the original Matrix, Smith goes on to become more powerful, as well as learn how to make copies of himself. By the end of the third movie, Smith simply represents pure, albiet logical, evil.
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones) - Star Wars Trilogy
Okay, who COULDN'T see this one coming? He's got an awesome look. He has his own theme song. He has one of the best, if not THE best, villain voices ever. He can strangle people from 10 feet away. And he ain't too bad with a lightsaber. Even his eventual change of heart couldn't keep him out of the villain hall of fame. 'Nuff said. Posted at 12:54 am by eesgooshee
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The Top 11 Most Influential Movies of the '90s
Well, I decided to start updating my blog again with a few lists. Mostly because I don't feel like putting anything else here, and this is one of the only ways to publicize the lists. So without further ado, the Top 11 Most Influential Movies of the '90s.
#11: Apollo 13 (1995)
Aliens had the evil alien. Star Wars had the evil Sith Lords. But not since 2001: A Space Odyssey had the main thrill of space-travel been ... space itself. Based off of true events (and even featuring a cameo by the real Jim Lovell), this movie creates high drama with no visible antagonist. It was also the first movie to film anti-gravity scenes in an actual zero-gravity environment. Isn't it just lovely seeing someone puke in zero-gravity?
#10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
One of only three films to ever win all five major Academy Awards (the other two being It Happened One Night (1934) and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)), this film delved into the human psyche like none before it, and is one of the first films dealing with serial killers that wasn't deemed a "slasher flick." It is one of the best psychological thrillers of all time, and Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lector is largely considered to be the best movie villain of all time. And if it weren't for Lector, no one would know what the hell fava beans are.
#9: Independence Day (1996)
It may not be Oscar-worthy, but when the topic of an alien species taking over Earth by force arises, one film comes to mind. This intense action flick (with a script more clever than most) set new boundaries in the field of special effects, winning an Oscar for the hundreds of aircraft rendered for the dogfight sequences. One of the first movies to feature an extended scene of destruction, this is also the first of two big-budget alien movies in which Will Smith starred in the 90's.
#8: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
This is an action flick that is bigger, faster, and has more explosions than the first. Normally this means it must be crappier, but many hail T2 as better than the first. Whether it is better or not, this definitely is NOT a crappy movie. Featuring several excellent chase scenes, some of the most accurate weapon handling in cinema, and one of the most realistic nuclear explosions in movie history, this movie sets the bar for action sequels. Now if only the Terminator franchise had followed the example of other classic film trilogies ( The Godfather, Back to the Future) and made a good third movie....
#7: Titanic (1997)
One of the first films to introduce a major romantic factor into what is otherwise a disaster movie. While this is influential in itself, the real beauty of the film comes from the last hour or so. We all know how the movie will end (the Titanic is going to sink, duh), but the way it is portrayed on screen is still amazing. While movies based on real-life tregedies existed before this ( JFK, Schindler's List, Glory), Titanic's PG-13 rating (how the hell did they get away with that anyway?) helped bring the idea into the public's attention as a legitimate genre of cinema. It's too bad that people over-used the line "I'm king of the world!"
#6: Jurassic Park (1993)
Before Titanic claimed the spot of Highest Grossing Film, Jurassic Park was king of the box office, and for good reason. Crichton's mastery of science and storytelling combined with Spielberg's expert eye at both cinematics and action create one of the most thrilling and most intelligent action films in recent history. Not only is it the first film to use Surround Sound, but it also broke new ground in terms of CGI. This movie is one of the few in which the effects still look amazing by today's standards (much like Blade Runner). Unfortunately for Spielberg, the book is still better. It always is.
#5: Saving Private Ryan (1998)
While Spielberg's roots lie in high-budget, no-holds-barred action flicks, audiences saw a new side of Steve in the 90's. Starting with Schindler's List (which was considered for this list, and if included, would probably have shared a spot with this film due to similarities), he started directing calmer, more realistic movies, the first two of which are based on real-life tragedies. Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan each feature different sides of WWII, the former dealing mainly with the Holocaust and the latter dealing with the horrors of battle. Both films are presented with a poignancy and a gritty realism which earned some rare R-ratings for the director, but are also declared by actual survivors as the only way the stories could be truthfully told. Saving Private Ryan will remain as one of the best and most accurate war movies of all time.
#4: The Sixth Sense (1999)
1999 brought a movie which revolutionized the storytelling style of the horror genre. Up to this point, horror movies either had a seemingly immortal serial killer, an impossible monster, or more ghosts and goblins than the Haunted Mansion. They also had blood and gore out the wazoo, more often than not earning the film an R-rating with plenty of wiggle-room. M. Night Shyamalan's breakthrough movie had none of that. Well, except the ghosts. The movie had it's fair share of disturbing images and violence, but it was tame enough to earn the movie a PG-13 rating, easily catapulting it to the highest grossing horror flick of all time. Instead of relying solely on "Gotcha!" moments, Shyamalan employed an high level of psychological horror, paving the road for not only his follow-up Signs, but also for other less-is-more horror films like The Others and The Ring. The fact that it had the biggest and best surprise ending since Shawshank Redemption didn't hurt either.
#3: American Pie (1999)
Now, not many people would include this as one of the most influential movies of the 90's, and even less would place it so high on the list, but the impact of the movie (while not necessarily positive) is definitely there. Teen sex comedies (like Animal House and Porky's) were extremely popular from the 60s through the 80s, but by the 90s, the genre had slowed to a standstill. Then came American Pie. No one's really sure what the magic of the movie is, but because of it, there has been an explosion of teen sex comedies in the past five years ( Old School, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Euro Trip, and The Girl Next Door just to name a few).
#2: Toy Story (1995)
The first full-length, completely computer animated film. Without this movie, we would not have masterpieces like Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, Shrek, or Shrek 2. Not only has this film created one of the freshest new genres in recent movie history, it also included humor that was both appreciated by children and adults. This wonderful, universal humor is seen throughout other computer animated movies as well as recent animated films like Mulan and Hercules.
#1: The Matrix (1999)
This movie broke new ground in just about every way possible. The action sequences on the whole are pulse-poundingly intense and aesthetically perfect. The reality-bending martial arts sequences are some of the best to date, and the climactic subway fight between Neo and Agent Smith remains the fight scene by which all others are judged. The soundtrack is dynamic and exciting, shifting effortlessly between classical, techno, and rock. The special effects sequences shattered numerous barriers, especially the "Bullet Time" sequences (though the helicopter crash is still my favorite). The flawless cinematography has been imitated by nearly every action movie since. And to top it off, the film contains one of the most complex, thought-provoking plots in cinema history. It's a mystery to me why this movie was not even nominated for an Academy Award in 1999. After all, will anyone really remember American Beauty 10 years from now? Posted at 03:52 am by eesgooshee
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Well, I finally got digital cable, so I've been spending the past week or so watching syndicated game shows and music videos. Oh, and going to school. Apparently that's happening now.
So far school has gone alright. Our history teacher based an entire class period on a Pink Floyd song. The drummers are learning the fundementals of music in percussion ensemble. All the good things I've heard about Dr. No seem to be true, and we spent an AP Chem class bending glass. We learned a magic trick in AP Calc.
There's only one class I don't really like, and that's English. Firstly, this class seems to revolve around research-based writing, which I hate. Secondly, I don't care for the teacher (Grossman). Plus the class is full of a bunch of wigger-ass crackers. And lastly, the people I have to sit by reek of cigarette smoke, and I'm allergic to that. Figures that it's the only class that I can't drop.
Anyway, I made a diagram of the drumset I want to eventually have. It's obviously not to scale, and the positioning isn't absolutely correct. The middle bass drum is tuned differently than the two outer ones. And that little green thing is a cupholder. ^_^
Anyway, that's all for now. Peace, and keep on fu**in'. Posted at 08:10 am by eesgooshee
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Don't worry, I'm not gonna review the movie. In fact I've never seen it. I was just seeing how many times I could include the word "dude" in my entry names before someone noticed. Oh crap I shouldn't have given it away. Well in that case, I'm NOT seeing how many times I can include the word "dude" in my entry names before someone notices.
Well last night was fun. It started out as a normal movie night at Alisha's where we were watching "Secret Window." (Johnny Depp is soooooooooooooooo dreamy.) Then we ended up walking over to Brent's cuz he had a bonfire.
I should've figured that a bonfire at Brent's house was gonna be huge. Someone even said "Does anyone else feel like they're walking toward the gates of Hell?"
A little while later we all jumped in the pool with our clothes on, and people started alternating between the pool and the hot tub.
After a couple hours, we all settled down and just talked, and watched the first half of Boondock Saints, (Willem DaFoe is soooooooooooooooooo dreamy.) and I realized that without the various deleted scenes sprinkled throughout, it not quite as good as the version on my computer. Then everyone left, so Brent and I went out front to wait for my dad, which is when I realized just how good the mosquito-control system was back on the deck in the backyard.
Well, lots of plans for today. Eric and Brent are coming over and we're gonna do summer AP Calc homework and watch uncut Boondock Saints and Eurotrip, then movie party at an undisclosed location, where I'm gonna end up bringing N64 games. (Mario is soooooooooooooooooooooooo dreamy.) So peace.
Posted at 12:24 pm by eesgooshee
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Bliggity Bloggity Bloogity Bluggity POOP!
Don't worry that's just the sleep-deprivation-induced madness kicking in.
I have a new favorite Bond movie, License to Kill. I'm not gonna review it, cuz I've already reviewed 3 movies in the last 24 hours, including another Bond movie. I'll just say this one has some of the best stunts ever recorded on film, plus Benecio del Toro. How can you go wrong with that?
In fact the probabily of going wrong with that combination is comparable to that of going wrong with a cruise ship crashing into a city and Willem DaFoe.
Oh wait. Shit.
Well I'm gonna go take a nap in the middle of the hallway.
Don't ask why.
There actually is a very sensible reason. Just don't ask.
Oh, one more thing. Even if you don't know me, even if you just read this blog, add my screenname to your buddy list (eesGOOshee) and take the poll in my SubProfile. I want to get as large a response as possible. Thanx. Posted at 06:32 am by eesgooshee
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Dude Ranch is, in my opinion, Blink 182's first good album. It's not old school (there are 3 more before it, Flyswatter, Buddha, and Cheshire Cat, not counting single EPs), but it's not new school (it's before Enema of the State), so what does that make it? Middle school?
Anywho, a nice bunch of high-energy pop-punk songs untainted by international fame. Plus some randomness at the end of some of them, kind of like Lostprophets or Queens of the Stone Age. I recommend checking it out.
Well today, there was another get-together, this time at The Hill (dun dun dun!) and various other places. We drove to Taco Hut, and while Mana and Alisha were eating, Brent, Eric, and I trekked to Sherpers to purchase supplies.
Back at the hill, one of the girls managed to snap the tang off of my sword (That's not what I bought at Sherpers). So Brent is eventually gonna reforge a tang/handle (which will subsequently balance the damn thing). Apparently all one needs is some aluminum, some rust, and a 4th of July sparkler. Interesting.
Then, since we were being eaten alive, we went to Maria's house (She had shown up at The Hill shortly before). On the way, Mana and Alisha and Maria saw some guy walking in the street and invited him over.
What the hell?
How come I'm never walking in the street, and some hot (or at least semi-hot) chicks drive by in a car and invite me to their house?
Anyway, I don't even know how things turned out, cuz me and my other perpetually single friends (both of whom are also guys by the way) had to leave.
Well, I'm outtie 5000. Peace.
Alonzo Bodden was right. Posted at 11:48 pm by eesgooshee
So, people actually read this now. I guess I'll have to get used to updating regularly again. DAMN YOU BON JOVI!!!
Well, like I said before, there's a lot of stuff I wanted to rant about. Then I remembered this is a public blog, and certain people would read my rant and then the shit would hit the fan.
Sooooooooooooooo, all I can rant about right now is that my mom is playing Christmas music. Yes, last time I checked it was August. My parents are dumb like that.
Tonight I'm gonna try to stop by Sherper's and get another Airsoft, since my last one was stolen by Nazi fascists. Then maybe there can be some firefights later this year.
Last night I went to Alisha's with a bunch of people. We watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. We also sat on the massaging matress she had spread out on her couch and messed around with it. My ass is still numb. We also went outside in the rain and blew up some firecrackers, which was terribly anti-climactic. Overall, it was a very fun time with some very cool people. It's nice to know that not everyone I know is an asshole.
Well, school starts in a few days, the number of which I don't want to think about seeing as it must be painfully small. It looks like I have spent the summer alone. Maybe there are some over-sympathetic or just plain desperate girls in the Milwaukee area reading this. Shit, I probably wasn't supposed to put that.
Well I haven't reviewed any movies lately, so today I'll do a threesome. For probably the only time in my life.
Live and Let Die
or
Every other Bond movie ever + Starsky and Hutch + That one scene in Waterworld
( starring Roger Moore and some dude that looks like Sydney Potier but most likely isn't)
James Bond has gone to a number of exotic locations before, but none as exotic as ... THE SOUTH! This movie is basically Bond vs. every black person on the face of the planet. Plus some chick that reads tarot cards. I'd have to say the best part of the movie is the speedboat chase through the bayous.
Overall rating: This movie is "sheer magnetism."
Eurotrip
or
American Pie + Road Trip + Harriet the Spy
(starring 5 unknown actors as the main characters, and about 50 celebrities as cameos)
Great movie in the flavor of Old School and the like, but this is the only one I've seen where the Unrated version is any different from the original. Definitely, DEFINITELY get the Unrated version if you're gonna watch this. Oh, and the chick from Harriet the Spy is in it. And boy did she grow up ~_^.
Overall rating: A great movie to watch with friends. Unless they're offended by excessive nudity.
The Boondock Saints
or
The Punisher + The Matrix + Willem Fucking DaFoe!
(starring random nobodies and WILLEM DAFOE)
This is such a great movie. It's a cult classic with the same dark atmosphere as Donnie Darko, and with the badass style of The Matrix. This is definitely a must see. But this movie isn't for everyone with gritty violence and enough profanity to make Tarantino look like Disney.
Overall rating: All joking aside, see this NOW! Posted at 06:48 pm by eesgooshee
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I just watched Live and Let Die, and Eurotrip (Unrated). Both exceptionally good movies. And I just finished downloading Boondock Saints. I hear that's also a good movie.
But that's not why I'm posting.
It's 7:00AM, and I just looked outside. Apparently there were people sleeping on the trampoline outside. I guess my neighbor had a sleepover. She's not that bad-looking either. (Before the word "sleepover" throws you off, I'm pretty sure she's around the same age as me.) But what really sucks.... They've been there all night. They were still awake at like 1:00, so they might've been up all night. And I've been up all night. There were a couple girls of unknown, but favorable, attractivity, plus my neighbor, less than 20 feet away, even outside the very room I've been in all night, AND I HAVEN'T DONE A DAMN THING ABOUT IT!!! DAMMIT!!!!
Well, I had a lot that I had on my mind a couple nights ago to rant about, but I mustn't do it now, for time is of the essence. I have to go outside and at least meet my neighbor (the only one of the family I haven't met yet).
Tempis fugit!
Posted at 07:05 am by eesgooshee
Saturday, July 31, 2004
I Am Now One Step Closer to World Domination
Recently, I finished downloading the episode of Family Guy entitled The Son Also Draws.
This means that on my computer, I have ever episode of Family Guy.
Ever.
What does that have to do with taking over the world?
Everything, duh.
Anyway, congratulations to Jay London for becoming the Last Comic Standing on Thursday night. He's a funny guy.
Update: Apparently, Thursday's episode wasn't to determine the winner. It was merely a wildcard episode, allowing one of the eliminated comics to return to the competition. Now I suppose the winner on that other show isn't gonna be the Next Action Star, but just a wildcard winner.
I've been working on animating a short movie that is sort of a tribute to the Madness series. After that I'll be working on an animated comedy series that I will eventually try to get on television. Sure, it may seem like a stupid, unattainable goal, but you'd be surprised at the resources I have. And at least I'm doing something with my life.
And you can too! If you're interested in doing some voice acting, and you're in fairly good spirits with me, you know where to reach me. If you don't know where to reach me, you probably wouldn't be able to help anyway.
So here's my MOTW
Starsky and Hutch (Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn, Carmen Electra, and a bunch of other celebrities out of the asshole. Yes, I said "asshole" instead of "wazoo." Deal.)
or
Austin Powers - English people + Saturday Night Fever X All of the other Stiller/Wilson movies out there X Starsky and Hutch, I guess
Funny. I've never seen the original Starsky and Hutch, so I don't know if the remake does justice to it. I do know, however, that this is one of the better Stiller/Wilson movies. Plus it has Snoop Dogg as Huggy Bizzle. I mean, Huggy Bear. And it has Carmen Electra and Amy Smart. They're hot. And they kiss.
So let's review: Ben Stiller, the funny guy from Shanghai Knights, a rapper who proved on numerous occasions that he can act, a few scenes with Will Ferrell, a 70's dance-off, a naked chick, cars, guns, drugs and their subsequent animated hallucinations, and two hot celebrities lesbian-kissing. There's something for everyone. Bring the kids!!!
My rating: Groovy. A big steaming pile of sexy. Mah nizzle. Posted at 11:18 pm by eesgooshee
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
I'm BACK!!! With a VENGEANCE!!!
I've decided to start updating my blog again.
Why?
I have no idea.
But when I achieve my short-term goal of becoming a celebrity via a show on Adult Swim, this might come in handy.
Shit, who am I kidding.
For those still keeping score:
Life still sucks
I'm still a drummer
I have Road Runner now
I would still die without music
And I'm still single
If anyone would like to fix any of those (well... I guess only the first and last ones), contact me ^_^
Shit, who am I kidding.
One new thing is that I have decided to use this blog mainly to poke fun at major current events, instead of spending the whole time bitching and moaning.
Also, since I have seen so many movies since last updating, I'll simply just start MOTW with the most recent one I've seen.
I just went and saw The Day After Tomorrow at Budget Cinema, and I'll post a review of it on Friday.
Just kidding....
The Day After Tomorrow (Jake Gyllenhall, Dennis Quaid, Sela Ward)
Or...
The Perfect Storm - Waterworld + Snow Dogs X Donnie Darko
This flick is driven by not only special effects but also by the sentimental connections that people share with each other. Woo, get me a fuckin Kleenex. It's also a reason to forgive Jake Gyllenhall for making Bubble Boy. The ending could definitely use some work, but lots of death and destruction and some convincing human drama (as opposed to clownfish drama) makes this one of the better end-of-the-world movies. I'd put it in the same league as Armageddon and Independence Day. Well, not really Independence Day. Now that I think about it, I'm not too sure about Armegeddon either. But it was definitely better than The Core, or Legally Blonde 2. What? Legally Blonde 2 wasn't an end-of-the-world movie? Are you sure about that? Well shit.
Overall score: Tragically Delicious ^_^
Well, peace, and I hope you all get crabs.
...because they're yummy. May I suggest Joe's Crab Shack.
Seacrest Out
(Shit, the world really is coming to an end, isn't it?) Posted at 07:39 am by eesgooshee
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